What makes America great? By Pablo Escobar...

Just kidding, it's me... Pablo. My last name is not Escobar, that's my cousin ;-) Today, I want to tell you three things that make America great:

1) Anyone can start a business. Take for example my recent venture. Because Audrey wants to go to the movies and stuffs all the time, I decided I needed to start making some money. I did not have to bribe a permit man to make a sign and start selling all the fishies H.R. catches. I did not have to give the local constables free tacos. I did not have to pay some thug half my earnings so he would not beat me up and rob me. No sir, I just had to make a sign and start selling the best fish tacos you have ever tasted. To this, I swear!

2) If you have the idea, people will help you do it. Take for example this short video Audrey took of this fine young man helping me sell tacos.

I'm not exactly sure why he has fishing tackle tied around his waist, but it worked!

3) People actually pay for what you are selling. In my country, this is hardly the case. I have made many tacos in my day. When I was a boy, I tried to start this exact same business. Everyone ate my tacos, but no one would pay for them. And when I would run out of ingredients, the big scary men who built a lot of buildings would yell, "Pablo, give me three of those really amazing tacos!" I would tell them that, "I can't, I have no monies for the meat cause you guys did not pay me for my last tacos." And they would say, "No problem Pablo, just go find a kitty cat or something." I'm not actually one to mix ingredients, but I am really glad that peoples in America pay for the most amazing tacos they have ever tasted.

If you see us selling tacos, you simply must try them! Thank you, that is all.

Capitalism

I aint no expert on this, but for those of you who keep baggin on capitalism, let me ask you this... Do any of you have something or want something? Yeah, we all do! Some of us want big flashy cars, nice suits, fancy houses, and big boats. Don't even get me started on what women want. From nice hair, beautiful dresses, to fake boobs, womens want it all! Well, here's a question for ya'll, do any of you commi S.O.B's see any of those things in former communist countries? Better yet, do you see them in dictatorships or present communist countries?

Competition... in my own words.

We live in a world of competition. Take the world cup for example, would the game be as exciting if one team ran the ball down the grass and kicked it in the goal without any resistance at all? Aint no way! No soccer fan in the world would watch a team drive goal after goal without any resistance. No one would even play on that team. Guaranteed success would be an absolute bore. It would be a failure. Thus, we have two teams that compete to W-I-N! Even better, we have multiple teams competing for a cup.

Money Dance!

What an amazing week. Hope ya'll had a great 4th of July. Murica lost the #worldcup, but who gives a crap? I guess Pablo does. He was doing his, "shots fired" dance and bragging about how Brazil was going to beat Germany. Personally, I don't really care, but since Pablo was so gungho, I went ahead and rooted for Germany. This is Pablo doing his dance when Brazil scored.

'Murica

My Dad keeps talking about the fourth of July, but when he says, "America," he has a really bad accent. It's so funny, it comes out, "'Murica." That's like a combination of MER-lin, and I-ca. 'Merica! I've compiled a list of the best things he's said below.

1) "Today is everybody in 'Murica's birthday!"
2) "'Murica won her ind-i-pendance today."
3) "'Murica: freest place in 'Murica!"

Harry Potter?!?

Hey ya'll,

   Kind of an uneventful week. Me, Pablo, and Audrey went to a magical water fall called, "Bridal Veil Falls." Didn't look much like a bride's veil though. Just looked like water falling a long ways down the mountain. You can see for yourself.

WORLD CUP Baby!

Oh my gosh, I am loving the World Cup! Can you guys believe USA won? We did it! Can't wait till the next game. Pablo is a huge soccer fan, too. Check him out!

I love hanging with him. He and I have become fast friends. This week I was reading him a bit of John Green's The Fault In Our Stars. (Can't wait to see that movie! All my friends are saying they cried in the theaters.) I think he liked it, but who even knows? All he reads is Twilight. I keep trying to get him to read New Moon, but he thinks its a different story. I'm going to have to get him a copy or else he's going to tell me, "No, No, No... Ees Twilight I like."  Hope you all are having a good summer! xoxo Audge

Ms. M AKA Auntie

Hey ya'll. Hope your summer is going well. We have been traveling up a highway towards a lake called, "Deer Creek." Not sure why they call it deer creek. It's actually a lake. If you don't believe me, check out the link below. We found a couple of really cool spots along the way. I find myself in constant argument with Audrey. She wants nothing but to go where people are. I keep trying to tell her we don't mix well with folks, but she won't listen. Last time Moonshine went into a gas station, the clerk threw her hands up and shouted, "TAKE THE CASH! DON'T HURT ME!" Since then we have made it a point to leave him outside with our gear. Anywho, Audrey has been at me quite a bit, and I wouldn't even consider caving, except Moonshine took her side. Since he aint been speaking much, I figured I ought to listen.

Baffled...

Hey Ya'll,

   I'm feeling a little bummed and I can hardly sleep. My life long friend, Moonshine, won't talk to me no more. All of a sudde,n he went cold. He don't come sit by me. He don't hardly talk to me. He don't fish with me. He won't eat with me.

Getting back to it...

Hey ya'll, I've been real busy writing my book. Nerd Chick has been a huge help, and believe it or not, Audrey has pushed the story along in a way I could never have imagined. Who would have thought that a girl her age would be so knowledgeable.