Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Christmas... Bah! Humbug!


I aint exactly one for Christmas. It just seems like such a crock. Here are a couple of good reasons why I aint a Holiday cheer mister. 
1) If you are Christian, and you read them scriptures, answer me how lambs was being born in the winter. It just don't happen. For that reason, it's pretty dang obvious this holiday is celebrated at a time when it shouldn't be. Don't that seem obvious Christmas is a fraud? 

2) Santa Claus. I aint gonna dive too deep into this one, but come on ya'll. Does it seem right we push Mr. C on kids? I don't really think so. Course, if he'd bring me a gift, I might change my mind. 

3) Corporations and Government need a holiday to stimulate the economy. I mean heck, most businesses project future earnings based off Christmas sales right? Don't that say it's all about the Benjamin's and not about Christ?

For these reasons, I'm not a huge fan of Christmas. Course that don't stop Pablo and Audrey from celebrating, but as far as this grinch is concerned... I aint a believer. That's not to say Nerd Chick aint hard at work. If you look below, I did get a gift from that beautiful girl who is a Nerd... and a Chick. Check it out... If ya'll live in the Berkley area, you can go and get my book at Pegasus now. I can't tell you how glad I am that Pegasus in my book is at Pegasus book stores! That freaking rocks! 


Pretty easy to see this joint from the street. Just look for a big orange banner.  


I really like their brand! I wish Nerd Chick would have shot me a pic of this neon sign at night. 


Anyway, just go on in and you'll see it right next to them Harry Potter books. Have yew a good un and remember...


Friday, December 12, 2014

Bustin through the ice...


Pablo cracks me up. This dude does the craziest things. I'm gonna narrate this fine specimen like the discovery channel does with wild animal shows. Just read the following with a british accent:



Here we have Pablo, a man of mystery and adventure. This fine specimen falls into the category of "lone wanderer." He fancies travel, warm meals, and dry places to rest his weary head. Though seemingly lost, Pablo is never lost. When asked where he is he always responds with a sure answer, "America!" With a thick hispanic accent and features to match many south Americans, one might think Pablo is from South or Central America. A fun fact about this type of wanderer is that you will be hard pressed to discover his native lands. When asked where he's from, he responds, "South of here." A fine specimen of this sort will never reveal his actual origins for fear of deportation. Same goes for his present local.  


Here we  see the determined man forming a circle in the ice. Why would this man of wonder pound through the ice? Perhaps he is driven by hunger? After all, wanderers such as him feed off a steady diet of fish. Or perhaps he wants to take a bath? Or maybe he is driven by fear? One can only imagine what is running through Pablo's mind as he hacks his way through the frozen layers.


Determined as ever, the flannel back will repeat blow after blow, while others around him use more efficient devices like gas powered ice drills. None the less, the proud male chipperly chips, and chips away. 


When his metal hatchet fails him, he resorts to other hard objects like rocks. However, Pablo soon learns that ice on a lake can freeze deeper than four inches. 


After a quick assessment, the determined hacker seems proud of the circle that has not punched through the ice nor does it seem to serve any purpose. What could be this man's motive? Is he making art? Does this hole serve some grand ritual purpose?


YES! YES IT DOES! While the rest of us fish for food, and struggle to survive... Pablo fishes for ice cold beer. I can never actually tell if he's just foolin' around or if his meanderings have purpose. As you can see in this instance, Pablo's got purpose... ice cold beer. Until we meet next week...