Monday, November 10, 2014

TOTES


Anyone ever heard a young girl say, "totes?" I had no earthly idea what that meant. Audrey says that to everything. She'll be on her phone and start saying, "totes, totes, I totes agree!" At first, I thought she was talking about her tater tots.  I mean everyone has a favorite food, but it just didn't seem right that a young girl would be talking that much about tater tots. When Pablo started saying, "totes" to everything, it was then that I realized, she wasn't talking bout no tater tots. I confronted her and asked her what in the heck, "totes," meant and she laughed at me. She laughed so hard she made Pablo laugh. Both them was making such a ruckus neither of them could tell me what the totes was totes going on. So I got on the internet and this is what I found, "TOTEs: is an abbreviation youngens use for 'totally.'" It's like them valley girls back in the 90's runnin around and sayin, "like, totally." Except Audrey aint takin to flipping her hair yet, so I guess it's a might different. Anywho, I totes hope ya'll understand what the totes I'm talkin about. And in the event you don't, totes off!

GETTA BOOK!

Friday, November 7, 2014

Trenching...




I am mighty certain many of you folks are wondering where I'm going with this. Well, for those of you who aint from the south, you may not have an affection for crawfish, but where I been down in the dirty south, they take them water bugs (in the west they call them craw dads) mix them with some amazing seasonings, boil them up, and make the most nasty looking water bugs taste amazing! I aint joking neither.
Anywho, the other day, I was sharing some of my southern culture with Audrey and Pablo. Course Pablo aint really one for bugs, he flails his hands and gags when I eat them craw fish. Audrey on the other hand didn't believe me. So I taught her how to trench. Here's what ya'll need to know about trenching, tie a fishing line with three or four hooks on it. Then take a really greasy piece of bacon and snag it on each hook. Once you've set your line, try trench in clear waters so you can see them water bugs come out of their holes and latch onto your bacon. But if all you got is muddy water like the Mississippi, then what you do is pull your line up on occasion to check it out. Now I aint never seen a water bug that could refuse a good piece of bacon, so you should have no problem getting craw fish. Once you get your score, throw 'em in the pot, add a little cajun spice, tabasco sauce, 1 egg, a pinch of coco, tuna fish oil, and a couple of strips of bacon. Don't pay no mind if them water bugs starts hissing, that's just what they do before they turn bright red and roast out. 
Now you gotta figure out how to eat them red devils. This here is where I lost Audrey. She don't like watching me tear their tails off and chew them up, but that's how it's done. Sides, once they are boiled, them tails come right off. All thats left is cracking them claws open and sucking that tender meat.  Give it a go and let me know.

GETTA BOOK!

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Well here's a mystery for ya'll...


Nerd chick can't remember where this place is. She didn't get a business card and she don't remember where the heck this store is. Kind of funny the name of it is Book Shop. I mean it makes sense you'd lose a book at a place called, "Book Shop." Me and Pablo's laughing so hard over this one, we'll just leave it up to ya'll to find it. Hope ya'll enjoy Prince & Princess, Book Shop! Guess I'll catch you on volume II!


Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Hot dang...


Nerd Chick is on a roll. She got my book in another book store. This one here is called Towne Center Books. You can find it @ 555 Main St. Pleasanton, CA, 94566


This store is just so darn quaint. I'm so grateful to the owner, for putting me in her pleasant little store in Pleasanton. Just look at them autumn leaves. When you get tired of that, just go on ahead and walk through that candy red door. 


This is a fine picture of the inside of the store. If you go on down that hall, you'll find a new stand. 


The book is on a shelf right there waiting for you to buy it. Hope ya'll get there before them books are gone. Get on down there and GETTA BOOK! Give 'em a call to reserve your copy, (925)-846-8826

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

HOLY CRAP! Books Inc. Shelved my book!


Man, can ya'll believe I'm getting into so many book stores? This sweet little spot can be found @ 1344 Park Street Alameda, CA, 94501


I know these aint the best pictures, but that's what Nerd Chick sent me, so this all I got. See if you can spot P&P on the shelf. 


Or just give them a call @ (510)522-2226

Monday, November 3, 2014

Got a new book store!


Boyah! Nerd chick is on some sort of book rampage! Like a T-rex, she's out there tearin it up! Go nothing but love for ya Nerd Chick! Check out her latest kill. 


What can I say? Nerd Chick is good at placing books, not taking pictures. The pic got cut short. The sign should read, "Bay Books, New Used Rare" and you can find this charming little store @ 2415 San Ramon Valley Blvd, #3, San Ramon, CA, 94583. 

Anywho, go on through the front door. It should look like this on the inside. 


Ask for an energetic book enthusiast named Rose. This is her below.


If Rose aint there, you'll find the book on the shelf in the fantasy section. See image below. 


What are ya'll waiting for? Get on down there and GETTA BOOK!

Friday, October 31, 2014

Things that make you go boom


Da, da, da, da... Happy Halloween! Pablo dressed up as... well himself. Did I mention that I love 80's music? Of course you can see that my costume is an 80's rocker. Well maybe more like Jewel. Anyway, 80's is totes the best! It doesn't sound anything like music today. It's got all kinds of umph! I just created an 80's channel on Pandora. If you haven't, you should check out Madonna, Boyz II Men, Duran Duran, Skid Row, Guns N' Roses (love November Rain), ACDC, and Aerosmith. These guys really knew how to rock back in their day. I ask my Dad what he thinks about these bands, and he says every chance he got, he went to a rock concert. Those were truly the days. By now you've seen all the hard work I've done for my Dad. Not sure how I did it, but I managed to get his book published. This is really exciting for us! I hope you guys like it. Feel free to keep on emailing me at audgepodge500@gmail.com. Keep rocking and don't let your body stop dropping (that's an 80's line-- so funny.) xoxo Audge

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Go to Peunia's Place, "Fine Books for Children & Young Adults..."


And GETTA BOOK! Check it out ya'll, I just got my book in this here book store. 

6027 N Palm Ave
 Fresno, CA
(559) 438-1561



Just so ya'll know, Nerd chick says  this is a fantastic place to GETTA BOOK!

Monday, October 20, 2014

So like...


Wow.
That was the most long winded lecture you will ever get on the difference between boys and girls. Didn't even know my Dad listened to me.
Still recovering.
And to all my girlies in IL, totes jelly!
Have fun at Homecoming :(

Friday, October 17, 2014

The real difference between boys and girls part 3

Man, this has to be the longest freaking post I have ever dang written. If ya'll want to go back to the last two posts and review, I would highly recommend it! Aint gonna be no test, it would just be nice if ya'll knew what I was talking about.
Lets see here, where did I leave off. Ah yes... if boys is pushing girls to bump uglies, I'm imagining there's going to be a few steps before the actual deal transpires. Very few women on the planet gonna do nasty with some boy who don't first say, "I love you." This is the secret password to affirm them images young ladies see in their minds. Now most boys is willing to do just about anything to have sex, so if all they gotta do is say, "yeah, I love you!" You better bet, boys is gonna be saying, "I love you" all day and all night. I mean, the equivalent would be getting stopped at the gates to Disney land and asked, "do ya'll love Mickey Mouse?" to enter. If all you had to do was say, "yeah, I love Mickey Mouse!" to ride all them rides, wouldn't ya? Anywho, here's the deal, the boy is the one actually forming the relationship by setting the physical requirements. He's most likely going to be the one to try to get to first base. He's going to do everything in his power to jump past second and land on third. If he can get a home run, he's goin fer it! What I never considered, is that a young lady is getting confirmation all the way up to the deal being sealed. In her world, this physical act is the codifying deal sealer. All them images accumulate to this moment and go past what a woman's expectations are. Now when a woman lets a man in, she takes all of him. He encodes on her soul, her psyche, and her heart. He writes his name on everything she is and will be. What most women will never understand, is that most men can connect and disconnect double ASAP. Here's the question, who suffers the consequences of love gone a foul?

The boy? 

or 

The girl?

Well... since babies come from women, I'm gonna say women suffer the consequences of love gone amuck. Course I'm speaking from experience here, so ultimately, I conclude on this point. The real difference between men and women is that physically, women bare all the risk (like 9 months of risk then 18 years + ;-) know what I mean?) Women are the true ambassadors of love and men don't know shi! Men shape the relationship by confirming the images being projected from the embers of a woman's heart. Most men will betray that innocence with a simple phrase, "I love you." Now that I have all this poured out of me, I think it's best if a woman saves herself and holds out for a man who proves he loves her not with a simple phrase, but with a ring, and a commitment to take care of the babies she gives him. Anywho, them are my thoughts. And now that I'm living up to my responsibility with Audrey, I've come to realize, the best part is following the pictures in that woman's mind. Not for a night. Not for a week or a month. Not even for a year. But a life time. The ultimate challenge of love and even life for that dang matter is finding the perfect person you can endure the weight of those decisions with.

GETTA BOOK!