Monday, April 14, 2014

Finding Prince & Princess...

So I'm getting a lot of questions about where ya can find my story. First of all, I'd like to thank ya'll for reading my story. I'm really surprised by the positive feed back and overwhelming interest I have received. I honestly thought no one would even care, but apparently ya'll do! Here's the dealio, I'm having too much trouble posting on my blog and website. I can do one or the other, but not both. Since none of ya'll want to the see Prince & Princess here, we are moving it over to this site.

You can read the book on the site or as a google doc.

Thank ya'll kindly for stopping by, I hope ya'll like what we've done here. Me, Moonshine, Pablo, and Audrey (Not My Daughter) are going to be moving again soon, so we appreciate your patience while we relocate. I'm sure Audrey will be posting something on Friday, so check in. Take care ya'll!

H.R.

Monday, April 7, 2014

Nothing aint nothing! And that's what starts a fight!

So Moonshine tried to tell me Audrey (Not My Daughter) was my daughter. I didn't much appreciate that. So I up and threw my chair at him.


As you can see, he didn't take too kindly to that. He threw his chair right back at me and to be honest, it was a bunch of horse crap!


     Well, anywho, we were having a dang deep conversation about, "nothing." He asked, "where does nothing come from?" Sometimes that big foot looking feller gets my brain a spinning on the craziest conversations. I answered that nothing can't exist unless it came from something. I think he cracked a wry smile, course it's hard to tell under that furry face, but he went on with his point. By the way, I wasn't being serious in my answer at all, but Moonshine took me pretty dang serious.

     Anywho, Moonshine got on his religious kick and shouted, "That's right! You wouldn't know what nothing was, unless you had something to take it from, and that right there is proof of God!" I tried to explain that he was speaking in circles, but dang Audrey got all hyped up and actually looked up from her phone long enough to say, "Amen," then got back to texting, or whatever it is she does on that device. Typically when Moonshine gets going in circles, I reach out to Pablo to balance his gyrating self. This instance was no different. I asked Pablo for his two cents and I'll be darned, he reached deep in his pocket and pulled out two copper pennies. That feller is funny! Can you believe he actually produced two cents? Well, anyhow, Pablo proved Moonshines point. He had nothing in his hands and produced two copper pennies upon verifying something.


     Daw gone numb skulls got me speaking in circles. Here's a little clarity for ya'll. Audrey has decided to stay, indefinitely. I still aint talking to her. I mean, even if she did look up from her phone long enough to have a conversation, I wouldn't know what to say. Do all teenage girls act like this with their cell phones? I have talked to her Mom and she has confirmed that we knew each other. Her Mom is legit, but she aint, so, I don't really know what to do with that. Course her Mom was happy to hear she was alive and well. We've decided to move on. Our next stop is going to be a place called Deer lake. Apparently the fishing is better up there. With any luck, we'll be catching some whoppers. Here's some more writing. Hope ya'll like it.


Chapter 4 (Continued)

“Oh no…,” she whispers, pinching her thumb to her forefinger, then moves them apart again. She feels her fingers stick together. “Tis sticky,” she whimpers and attempts to wipe the pinesap on her dress. “Tis very sticky,” Princess grumbles and her tummy grumbles after. 

Friday, April 4, 2014

I DO WHAT I WANT!


Hey ya'll. Moonshine here. I coined a new phrase I hope ya'll are going to appreciate... but first someone has to tell you what to do.

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Economics of friends

So here's a funny thing, I've been keeping my distance from Moonshine, Not My Daughter (Audrey), & Pablo. You'd think Moonshine and Pablo would show some loyalty to their best buddy, but nope... they chummed right up to this perfect stranger. Didn't take Moonshine long to offer her his sleeping bag as you can plainly see here.


I've learned a strong lesson from all of this. There is an economy to friendship. Two currencies control friendship behaviors; 1) Time & 2)Active engagement. In my absence, Audrey is spending more time with Moonshine and Pablo. In turn, they are actively engaging with her. The return on their friendship is that they are growing closer as I am growing further apart. On the flip side of that coin, the longer I stay away from Audrey, the more she keeps her distance from me as you can plainly see here.


As a result, I'm losing friends and she's gaining them. I suppose the purpose of economics is to grow and I am growing in heart felt hurt. Not being able to engage Moonshine in debate is causing a constant pain in my chest that is nothing like the heart burn Pablo's tacos. To be honest, I miss my buddies.


Audrey don't need my friends. She's on her phone all the dang time texting her friends and telling them how much fun she's having. Not sure why she aint returned home with them, but I thought she'd blast out of here by now. Instead, she's just finding ways to adapt, which makes me wonder how much longer she's going to hang around. While we fish, she charges her phone over by an RV power post. When she gets cold, she goes inside the visitor center. Not sure how she's eating yet, cause she don't like fish nearly as much as we do and I never see her eating. Well anyway, Moonshine thinks she should put some of her pictures up here and since I don't want to piss Nerd Chick off, I'm going to let her. See, that's the economics of friends... except they keep getting what they want, and I never get what I want.



Anywho, here's some more of the book. Hope ya'll enjoy it.

Chapter 4 (continued)

“Oh no…,” she whispers, pinching her thumb to her forefinger, then moves them apart again. She feels her fingers stick together. “Tis sticky,” she whimpers and attempts to wipe the pinesap on her dress. “Tis very sticky,” Princess grumbles and her tummy grumbles after.

Monday, March 31, 2014

Prancing on thin ice

I was right. Moonshine is hitting it off with Not My Daughter. She gets bored real easy and since all she ever does is talk about her herself, I yelled at her!


This was a might upsetting to Pablo, as you can plainly see below.

Saturday, March 29, 2014

They call me Moonshine

Hey ya'll, its Moonshine here. That's what people call me anyway but my real name is Joseph Theodore Chestheffer the Third. Most of you are probably wondering why everyone calls me Moonshine especially on account that I never really drink.

Well it goes way back to my gran-daddy, Joseph Theodore Chestheffer the First. He was an infamous moonshiner, at least where we lived he was. Everyone in town used to get their liquor from him. It was the best liquor in the county.

Well long story short, people called me Lil Moonshine when I was a kid (don't tell H.R. or Pablo that) and now that I'm older its just Moonshine. I realize that now that I'm old enough to drink and choose not to, my name is one of those ironic consequences. I don't drink cuz I never saw nothing good come from it. Also, cuz I found the Lord. But that's a story for a different time.

Here's a picture of me or possibly just a Bigfoot sighting.


Thursday, March 27, 2014

Gator Twist

Juan dang got all upitty on my trash. He said, "I'm going to gator twist your arm off if you don't let Moonshine and Audrey write on your blog!" Little fella actually went into detail talking about how he would grab my arm, clench it till I hollered, and spin around till my bone popped and plum come off. 


Friday, March 21, 2014

Just don't ever do this!

When you make a life altering decision, like... I dunno... traveling the open road for the rest of your life, you don't expect to have life circle around on you and bite you in the butt. You sort of live in the moment and let the past drift away. I have been flyin by the seat of my pants for all my life now. Problem is, my pants lead me to another pair of pants. A fine pair of pink pants, and now, I got a pair of teeny bopper pants followin me around claimin she's my daughter. For those of you who have been under these circumstances, I could really use some advice. My pals are hardly any help. Dang Pablo keeps talkin to this chick like she's one of us.


Moonshine aint sayin much. He's sort of just weighing everything out in his do-gooder mind.

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

One way ticket home

I know Moonshine don't want me cussin and such, (especially in the presence of a lady) but there just aint no other freaking way to say this, "Audrey is NOT MY DAUGHTER!" In fact, that's her new nickname, "Not My Daughter." Anywho, while I was sayin a few prayers, I had the camera and couldn't exactly see what was goin on with Not My Daughter and Pablo. Seemed like Not My Daughter was confessin to her lyin sins to Pablo.


Unbeknownst to either party, Moonshine was in there takin a dump. Neither Pablo nor Not My Daughter had any idea Moonshine was takin a dump, but I sure am glad he was, cause I got both sides of the story. Here's Pablo's version.